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A Blog Post

Squats and Drugs and Rock n’ Roll.

By the horny, scaled toenails of Beelzebub I’ve just finished a leg workout that came very close to ending me. It was insanely brutal and at one point I saw a rip in the fabric of time (Ta Davey). On paper it doesn’t seem like a particularly horrific workout and yet it is one of the true terrors of this Earth.

For those loyal Blogranauts following me on my stumbling, up and down journey towards buffdom you will know that I’ve just started a new training program after having a week off from training and dieting. My new routine is a variation on German Volume Training called Ladder training and it’s a bastard.

What you do is pick two exercises for opposite muscle groups and, with as little rest as required, do 1 rep on each. Then 2 reps on each. Then 3 reps on each. Etc, until you get to 10 reps of each and then you go back down the ladder until you get back to 1 rep of each.

Simple.

In theory.

In practice, however, it’s a whole different kettle of fish.

Yesterday I did chest and back and, although it was tough and I was drenched in sweat afterwards, I didn’t feel at any point that I was going to die.

Today was legs and it was genuinely one of the hardest things I have done for a very long time. It was made harder because I am really quite sore from yesterday’s session and also because of a certain pre-workout supplement I tried today. . .

I get most of the Gym’s supplements from a mate of mine called Nick who supplies quite a few gyms in the area with protein, creatine and the suchlike. He called in yesterday to see if I was interested in getting in some nuclear-strength fat burners.

“What are they like?” says I
. “A bit potent.” says he.
“Let me try a couple.” says I blithely
“Just take the one,” says he cautiously
“Bah. Humbug and piffle.” says I ” I’m a lump of a man with the caffeine tolerance only a father of 3 small children can have. I’ll take two.”

Worst. Mistake. Ever. I’m not sure what’s in these things and I’m scared to ask but. . .  bloody hell! I still feel like I’m vibrating at high speeds and I took them 6 hours ago. I may never sleep again. My resting heart rate was probably in the low 150s BEFORE I started squatting and it continued to spike ever upwards until it was equal to that of a young humming-bird on a sugar rush.

Here at Dave’s Gym we don’t advocate the use of illicit substances unless used alongside loud music and a little light Satanism. (Joking. Honestly.) It did however give me one hell of a workout that I will spend the rest of the week regretting.

The workout.

10 min run.

Squats supersetted with Romanians – as a ladder with 100kg and 60kg respectively.

That’s all.

More of the same tomorrow once I’ve checked myself into Rehab.
Dave Carter.

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