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Ladder Training. Week 2.

Last week was apocalyptic. Having had the previous week off from training and starting the world’s most unnecessarily brutal training regime meant that I was a broken husk of a man. However, a weekend of rest and recuperation has set me up to once again wrestle with grim beast that is Ladder Training.

I had it mind to do 6 training sessions last week but such was the shear evilness of this style of training that I could only manage 4. This week I would manage all 6 or die trying.

The plan is to do this form of acute insanity for 2 weeks and then revert  to my standard fall back program of strength training. I’ll probably do 5/3/1 as it is the most effective and flexible method of training I’ve come across.

The ultimate goal is still to rid my bloated carcass of all the excess blubber that I’ve managed to accumulate during the past 14 month long bulking phase. I hope that after getting myself up to 19 stone 10 pounds that I actually have some decent shape remaining once I’ve rendered off all the tallow.

Mmmm . . . Lard.

The hideous efficiency of this Ladder Training I’m currently subjecting myself, and others, to has genuinely surprised me. I was expecting it to be hard, anything that has you doing 100 squats and 100 romanians in the same session was never going to be fun, but I cannot believe that halfway through the 2nd week of it I’m still a mangled mess of muscle cramps and twitches. As for the conditioning aspect of it – well, fuck me. I have never sweated as much as this in living memory – and I’m older then certain rocks. I have sweated more than Harold Shipman in a medical ethics committee meeting. I have sweated more than a vegan in an abattoir. I have sweated more than a choirboy at the Vatican. At one point during Monday’s squat session the sweat was coming off my elbows, not in drips, but in an unbroken stream.

Because it’s such an effective lard buster I’m going to continue using it. However there is no way I could manage it for more than 2 weeks at a time without shutting down my central nervous system or suffering an enormous heart attack.

I’ll probably try to do this:

Week 1 – 5/3/1 the 5 rep week.

Week 2 – 5/3/1 the 3 rep week

Week 3 – 5/3/1 the 5,3,1 week

Week 4 – deload.

Week 5 – Ladder Training or something equally brutal.

Week 6 – as week 5.

Week 7 – rpt cycle.

The slow process of turning a middle-aged man (me) into a living God with a body you could shatter boulders on (me, soon) is going quite well. I’m definitely fitter and my weight has dipped below 17 stone for the first time in eons.  The diet is absolutely fine if I’ve got the time to organise myself enough to come to work laden down with Tupperware. Where it is a struggle is when I’m hungry right now and all my meat is a frozen block of ice refusing to defrost in the bottom of the sink. Preparation is everything, and it’s what I find the hardest to keep on top of.

This has been the week so far.

Monday

I trained with my manager Matt. We did legs and he hasn’t stopped moaning about it all week. Pussy.

5 min cycle

1km run

Squats and Romanians done as a ladder (see older posts)

That’s all

Tuesday

5 min cycle

1km run

Chins and dips done as a ladder. This was also done with Matt.

Ab Wheel rollouts (the only piece of home gym equipment worth a damn) and some hanging leg raises.

That’s all

Wednesday

5 min cycle

1km run

Bench press and Bent over rows done as a ladder.

That’s all

Thursday

Kettlebell swings and Kettlebell squats done as a ladder.

That’s all.

I’ll write up Friday’s and the weekends workout soon.

Onwards unto Glory ride,
Dave Carter.

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